Okay okay okay…I know the Misfits are still around, and no matter what you think of the current incarnation of one of the most famous punk bands ever - I think we all have to agree: the glory days are over.

My personal favorite is the original Misfits with Danzig on vocals of course. I like Static Age and classify it among the very few “perfect” records I have ever heard. But I think the re-formed Misifts with Graves was also pretty damn awesome. And I love the intro to their video for American Psycho - it says “EC Comics” all over it. And maybe it even nods a little to Spinal Tap. So here it is…let’s all remember how awesome the Misfits were!

One of the most well-known horror/sci-fi rock bands that has ever existed played in New Orleans last month. I am talking about GWAR - the bloodiest, most gory spectacle you’ll probably see up close without actually getting killed. (Aside from being present at a childbirth).

On December 10, 2008 Gwar played at the House of Blues in New Orleans. I was there with my friends from work and it was a very awesome night indeed. Two awesome things that put this show apart from other shows I’ve seen:

• Free Miller Lite in the Foundation Room
• Good view of Gwar from the balcony. I had never been one of those privileged people before, and I gotta say - that’s the way to see a show.

But what about the actual performance by Gwar? Well, it was visually stunning and pretty damn funny as well. And a bit weird. And maybe a bit disturbing/frightening too, especially if the viewer was either a) under the age of 10 or b) a bushman from Papua New Guinea who had never seen anything “civilized” before. (Haha! Gwar isn’t supposed to be civilized though.)

So here’s what happened on stage at the Gwar show…

• A wrestling match between John McCain and one of the members of Gwar (was it Flattus Maximus? or Oderus Urungus? I forgot) in which McCain’s face got ripped off. Also, the flesh on his chest got kinda ripped off. And, he sprayed the audience with blood while he held some major veins and aimed the spray outward.
• A wrestling match between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and a Gwar member. It ended badly for both of them. Hillary was actually chopped into two pieces, and thrown back onto the stage…and this was after parts of her chest were cut off. Obama got off easy though - he was only decapitated and then he danced off stage.
• Some “songs” were played.
• Sleazy P. Martini shot a couple of audience members on-stage after asking the enthusiastic crowd, “Who wants to die tonight?”
• Various people’s heads were chopped off
• More wrestling/killing matches took place
• Lots of blood/green fluid was sprayed onto the crowd
• An actual blood/fluid cannon was rolled out and used to coat the audience with goo and gore

I have a few pics of Gwar as well. Excuse the quality - they were taken with a camera phone.

It was a very entertaining show - and if you’ve never seen Gwar live on stage, you’re missing most of the Gwar experience. The only other way to get an inkling of what happens at one of their shows is to see a DVD. I recommend Phallus in Wonderland if you just wanna see them in action and get a taste of their horror and humor…

If you wanna see some live footage and get the other best DVD of Gwar out there, get the Ultimate Video Gwarchive and you won’t be disappointed.

So watch them on DVD, but next time you see tickets on sale for Gwar in your town I recommend you go!!

There’s a lot of debate in the Maskull home as far as what to listen to. Some mornings, Morticia wants to crank up the latest song from Duffy. I, however, wish to listen to Neil Diamond. So we argue about what sort of music to turn on.

Then after we’ve argued, made up, and gotten dressed again, we compromise. In fact we always agree on the same band when we compromise: the Misfits.

How do we always manage to agree to listen to the Misfits? One reason, which I will state here:

The Misfits are the greatest horror punk band. Ever.

Yes, I know I have just made a very bold, brash, and definitive statement. But I can live with it - because I’m ready to defend my words with some reasons. How about five?

1. The Misfits pioneered the genre of horror/punk. You’ve seen other bands that play music that’s kinda horror-y and kinda punk rock-y at the same time. Some are more horror-rockabilly or more horror-
   metal or whatever but the point is (to use John McCain’s favorite phrase) that The Misfits inspired the whole thing. I doubt that without the Misfits, Gwar would have ever existed.
2. The Misfits are fun to listen to. Well, maybe songs about decapitation and UFOs and vampires aren’t your cup of…whatever it is you drink. But for the average person with a sense of humor and fun, Misfits songs hold a certain humorous, campy, nostalgic charm. They’re silly, and they go right along with classic horror movies.
3. The Misfits have an awesome logo. You’ve seen the skull logo probably everywhere except cereal boxes. Why is that? Is it because the logo sucks and looks really dumb? NO! It’s because the logo is AWESOME. I rest my case.
4. Other people love the Misfits. I bring this into my list of reasons not because doing everything other people do is cool or right or the way to be…no, I’m thinking of the way when you play a Misfits song other people will comment and say “Haha I have 20 eyes in my head” or whatever. It’s cool to be able to talk to a total stranger about a band you have in common.
5. The Misfits songs are classic, timeless, and will always be cool. Teenagers will be discovering Legacy of Brutality ten years from now, and thinking they’ve found the coolest band ever. I guarantee it! The music never gets old, and will never go away. It’ll be in many music fans’ collections for years to come.

So do you understand why us Maskulls can agree on this one band?The Misfits really are a great band…and we can’t diverge on our opinion of their music. Neil Diamond…not so much. But the Misfits? Definitely.

…because I’m eating some super-yummy Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream. It makes an awesome treat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Or dessert. (Forget what your parents told you, kids - you can eat ice cream whenever you want. Your Uncle Maskull said it’s O.K.) But like all good things, if you do it wrong you will suffer - so don’t eat it too fast or you get The Brain Freeze.

And besides eating the ice cream, I’ve been researching cool monster music. And what have I found? A record that I got for my eighth birthday! Yeah! It’s Monster Mash!!!

What kind of parent would buy this for their kid? I dunno. My cousin got it for me.

So what did my parents buy me? Ummm…it was way cooler…it was this:

It was so hard to choose the best KISS album however, based on the superb covers. And among fans, the debate rages on as to which album had the best cover art. (My vote? Destroyer.)